Why Men Pay For Sex

I've been working as a Private Escort for around a year now and through my various encounters, I've learned a lot about men. The most obvious one being that men are always friggen horny. Some of my clients tell me that sex is like a bodily function- almost as essential as food and sleep. I suppose this makes my job as a sex worker pretty easy.

Despite numerous hook-up apps like Tinder and Bumble, enabling couples to meet up for some fun under the sheets, plenty of men (and women) still choose to pay for intimacy. I've come up with a list of reasons for why I believe this is so.

Sex is on the Table

A lot of men feel a mismatch between the quality and quantity of sex they desire and that of sex they are currently receiving. This varies for each individual- some guys (mostly the married and kids type) have been dry for years, others may have a pretty frequent sex life at home, but are bored and seek some variety. While the 'thrill of the chase' can add a level of excitement and reward to the hook-up experience, sometimes guys just want to head straight for the dessert bar.

When men visit Escorts, they are almost always guaranteed a root. This may not always be the case with hook-up apps or bars. It can be a tough game out there, especially for guys who are a bit more shy and have trouble approaching women. Sex workers are experienced at interacting with a variety of personalities (from your classic geek, to the gym junkie with an ego the size of his biceps) and sexual experience levels (from first timers to wild stallions), which can give confidence for guys of all confidence and experience levels.


A lot of my clients are busy professionals and simply don't have the time for relationships, but still desire for physical and emotional connection with a lady. Some guys may only have a few spare hours in their week and a very tight schedule, so visiting an Escort who can accompany him during this time can be very convenient. Visiting an Escort is (usually) drama-free. Once the booking is over, she does not expect you to contact her afterwards and you each move on with your own lives (until next time, perhaps). It's probably the only time where a 'root and boot' is perfectly acceptable, and perhaps even encouraged (it's actually kinda rude to hang after the booking has ended). As Charlie Sheen once quoted "I don’t pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”

There's also the cost factor. While booking an Escort does have that upfront cost, if you consider all the hidden costs that go into woo-ing Tinder dates or trying to hook-up at the bar (those $20 drinks certainly add up) that never get anywhere (I am certainly guilty of mooching free drinks off poor suckers with no intention of putting out), it probably evens out pretty quickly. Overall, the convenience of spending time with a lady with absolutely not strings attached is a pretty nice incentive for the busy and committed man.


Discretion is an important reason as to why some guys choose to pay for sex. This kind of ties in with the convenience factor. There may be personal reasons in a man's life for which he simply wants to hook up without the complications of getting caught. Sex Workers understand the professional relationship she has with her client and does not interfere with his personal life. What happens behind closed doors stays there, and keeping discretion is a very important value in order for Escorts to maintain their reputation in the industry.

Physical Attributes

A huge appeal of Escort sites is that clients have the ability to choose a companion based on their desired appearance preferences. One thing I have learned about men is that, when given the choice, they can be very selective when it comes to appearance. Some guys like big busts, others prefer no more than a handful. Some love brunettes with tattoos, others like a blonde with natural skin. Most escorting websites include filters for all attributes you can imagine. There's no one size fits all- and there is a companion to suit everyone. Age gap is also no longer a barrier. Some of my clients (who I would never have met on conventional hook up sites) are much older than I am and they are some of the most interesting and respectful people I would never have met beforehand. With a simple transaction, men can have intimate moments with women who may be unacceptable or unconventional to ask out with in the real world.


While everything that happens behind closed doors is always consensual, guys can have an experience that is entirely about them. Vaginas are finicky little things, and sometimes dudes just aren't in the mood to spend 20 minutes just trying to find where the clitoris is, let alone figure out how to stroke it. In saying that, plenty of guys out there who pay for sex do get a lot of satisfaction out of pleasuring the woman. But when you are booking an Escort, it's completely acceptable to be as selfish as you'd like (while ensuring that you are respectful and treat her well).

Within the first enquiry, there is usually a discussion about the experiences the Escort offers, her boundaries and whether these align with what the client is seeking. Everything is very open and transparent and this is actually one of the reasons I also prefer escorting over real world hookups or dating sites, and I can certainly see why it appeals to guys as well. My client already knows that I don't do services X, Y and Z before he enters my room, and this saves any awkward conversations or pushing of boundaries during the session (contrary which I have experienced in real world hook-ups where I don't have these open discussions and I have had boundaries pushed) . Escorts are usually more open minded to different experiences (such as role play, golden showers, dominant roles etc) that may be uncomfortable or awkward to ask a real world partner. Depending on the state legislation, most Escorting websites describe a list of services that each Escort offers, which makes it really easy for guys to pick a companion based on their desires.


I hope this gave you a little insight as to why I think men pay for sex. If you have paid for sex, I'm interested to hear why so. Feel free to write in the comments below.

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