In a previous blog 'How To Satisfy Her Bed', I spoke about what women generally enjoy in bed. This blog post is probably going to be another dig at mainstream porn and how it teaches us everything that women don't like while pretending that she does. Confusing, I know. Here are some of the top mistakes men make in bed.
The classic jackhammer- fingers can do some amazing things but banging the crap out of a vagina is not one of them. While you may see women in porn screaming with pleasure with this technique, in reality it can actually be very painful, especially if your fingers are hitting her cervix (the top of her vagina, which is extremely sensitive and can be bruised easily). Always ask before sticking your claws inside her- not all women enjoy fingering at all. Use soft and slow fingering and only insert up to the second joint on your finger, pushing softly towards the front of her vagina. Ask her if she wants you to move faster or deeper before doing so. A lot of guys tend to start speeding up into a jackhammer when he feels her climaxing to tip her over the edge, but this will often backfire and hurt her instead. If something is bringing her to climax, keep doing that thing. Don’t change it.
Friction burn- in porn, the female is always dripping wet at the mere sight of an erect penis, but what you don't see is the 5L tubs of lubricant behind the scenes that is being slapped on between sets. Lube is your best friend in the bedroom. Smother it on your fingers before rubbing her clitoris or inserting them into her vagina. Same with your d*ck. If you don’t like using lube, then do lots of foreplay on her. If you're doing any anal play, it's even more important since the butt doesn't produce its own oils and the membrane can tear very easily. Ouch.
The scratch card technique- a common mistake guys make when rubbing the clitoris is treating it like it's a scratch card. I'm sorry boys, but you're not winning $5000 down there, no matter how hard you dig. The clitoris is extremely sensitive and using the tip of your finger in any form can be very uncomfortable because of the nail (even with shorter nails). Instead, flatten your fingers and use the underside of your index and middle finger instead to rub it back and forth or in circular motions (if you’re not sure, ask her how she prefers it).
Under pressure- another common mistake a lot of guys make when either performing oral or using their fingers on her clit is to use too much pressure. I know the clit can be hard to find, but I promise you don't need to dig to her bone to find it. Every girl's sensitivity is different, so ask her how much pressure she prefers. Read her body language. If she starts moving her hips away, it's probably too much, so just back off a little.
It slipped- Never, ever, ever 'slip' it into the back door without consent. Anal sex requires a lot of physical and mental preparation (relaxation, douching, lubricant). Some people have physical reasons they can't do it (fissures or haemorrhoids which can take weeks to heal) and some simply don't find it comfortable. A few pumps in her butt is not worth watching her wince in pain afterwards...
Mmmmm pretzels- you know those super flexy girls who can bend their legs behind their ears? I know it looks kinda cool, but not all of us have hyper flexible, double jointed hips. In fact, very few girls do. For most of us, focusing on not getting our hips dislocated means we also lose complete enjoyment of sex. Instead, try to experiment with positions that you can both enjoy.
Performance anxiety- a lot of men stress about their performance in bed. ‘Is my dick too small?’ ‘Am I too quick?’ ‘Will I lose my erection?’ Women don't really care as much as you think they would. A lot of women don't actually feel much pleasure from penetration since most of the nerve endings are on their clitoris, so to us it doesn't matter whether you last five minutes or fifty. Not all women want to be banged for a long time anyway because of friction burn. If you want to give her a good experience, focus on the foreplay. This will consequently make penetration feel better for her as well, since she will be relaxed and self lubricated.
I hope these tips were helpful for understanding how to navigate a woman's body better. Of course these are generalised and there may be some women who do enjoy these things, so the most important thing is to communicate with each other.